Why did the chicken cross the road?

Answer by MBA Student:

Deregulation of the chicken's side of the road was threatening its dominant market position. The chicken was faced with significant challenges to create and develop the competencies required for the newly competitive market. Boston Consulting Group, in a partnering relationship with the client, helped the chicken by rethinking its physical distribution strategy and implementation processes. Utilizing the Poultry Integration Model (PIM), BCG helped the chicken to leverage its skills, methodologies, knowledge, capital and experiences to align the chicken's people, processes and technology in support of its overall strategy within a Program Management framework.


Law Student:

In the matter of People v. Chicken, the chicken pleads not guilty. The chicken has no recollection of the alleged road crossing on the alleged road crossing date. In addition, the alleged road is not actually a road but a paved right-of-way. U.S.C. Sec. 3456(a)(2)(F)(iii) defines road as "An open, generally public way for the passage of vehicles, people, and animals." The paved surface in question was not a road because it was not open for the passage of animals.

Furthermore, U.S. Constitition guarantees the chicken a right to a speedy trial by an impartial jury. Chicken's due process rights are violated because chickens are deliberately excluded from the pool of qualified jurors.

In the alternative, the chicken's road crossing should be mitigated to an "involuntary path crossing" offense. The chicken's offense was commited under an adequate provocation after the chicken saw the road being traversed by another rooster.

Medical Student:

The patient came in complaining of chicken road crossing. Symptoms include sudden urges to cross things, rapid leg movement, and geospacial dislocation of the body. Performed MRI, heart palpation, and a rectal examination. The origins of this misterious affliction remain puzzling and more testing is necessary. Because the patient is uninsured, sent him home with instructions to drink more liquids.

Computer Science Student:

10 DIM CHICKEN AS VARIANT;
20 DIM ROAD AS LONG;
30 LET CHICKEN = "FEATHERS, BEAK, YUMMY MEAT";
40 DO WHILE 1=1;
50 CALL SUB CHICKEN_CROSS_ROAD (CHICKEN, ROAD);
60 LOOP;
70 END.

Philosophy Student:

[Add your own in the comments]